A few things on my mind today.  First, I go in for another non-stress test today - yay!  That's kind of sarcastic - I have these tests twice a week now from here until the beginning of November.  I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that I don't go so far past my due date (42 weeks gestation - someone will be dying at my hands if I have to go that far).  I'm so uncomfortable as it is right now, just the thought of having to go two more weeks makes me want to tear my hair out and run screaming down the hall.  So yeah.  Could be cause for a descent into madness.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Okay, next on my mental docket: an epidural.  I was very adamant that I did NOT want an epidural, but I've been watching an awful lot of A Baby Story on TLC and after talking to the doctor on Tuesday and having all my questions answered, I'm not really so scared of it anymore.  More or less, I'm more comfortably operating on the "I'll try it natural first but leave my options open to an epidural".  However, I'm kind of starting to think about what time of day I go into labor too - for instance, if I'm exhausted and it's been a long day and then I go into labor, I may go for the epidural a lot sooner than I may have originally.  I don't know.  Just at this point, I'm not as opposed to it as I was before.  That's all I'm saying.

Okay, this one is a rant about facebook.  I recently accepted a friend request from someone I went to high school with.  I didn't really know the kid - it was more like we had some of the same friends.  Well, this kid is the HEIGHT of annoyance.  He's still a flipping idiot, just like he was in high school, except now he feels like he can actually talk to me.  I have no idea what gave him that impression, but there you have it.  So a little while ago, I had what I like to term My Own Personal Nuclear Meltdown.  I was posting status updates befitting my emotional state on facebook, and this kid, he has the nerve to comment that maybe I should meet with him while he's in GR that weekend to discuss pharmaceutical options for improving my quality of life.  I almost reached through my computer to choke him.  A) I don't live in GR anymore, thankyouverymuch.  B) I'm pregnant.  C) PEOPLE HAVE BAD DAYS.  That does not mean they need to be medicated.  It's a part of life.  A few days later, one of my friends who has four kids (she also went to my high school) was also having a bad day and he said much the same thing to her.  Seriously, this guy works from some pharmaceutical company and is obviously COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS.  Anyway, the straw that broke my back yesterday: I posted a link to the breast cancer site on facebook and mentioned that it was a free option for those who wanted to support breast cancer awareness and research.  He opened a chat window with me to suggest that I try his mother's juice company because it supports breast cancer research.  I told him that I wasn't interested as I have plenty of avenues on my own to support breast cancer awareness and research.  I signed off of facebook and stewed about his impertinence and then I signed back into facebook, un-friended him, and then blocked him.  I couldn't stand it anymore.  I'm angry all over again just thinking about it.  WHAT AN IDIOT!  But taking such a small childish step really did make me feel better yesterday, lol.

Finally - the doctor's appointment yesterday.  It was a consultation with the pediatric surgeon who will be doing the surgery to remove the cyst, provided that it is still present after birth.  We discussed questions and outcomes and whatnot.  The cyst is a type 1, meaning that it is made up of large nodules (easiest to detect, remove, etc.), rather than type 2 (many small cysts), or type 3 (different sizes and composition).  So this is good (if you can call having something wrong "good".  It's like when people try to comfort my cousin, who was diagnosed this past spring with thyroid cancer, that at least she has a good kind of cancer.  If you are a person who says things like this, don't be surprised if someone hits you.  This doesn't make someone feel better - in fact, it makes me want to stab you.  Don't say I didn't warn you.).  He said that when the baby is born, they will do an Xray to determine the presence/prominence of the cyst.  From current indications, he predicts that they won't be able to see the cyst on this X-ray (good).  At that point, we will go about our business as usual and let Munchkin grow for about 6 months to a year before performing a CT scan. That will serve to give us a better picture - if the cyst isn't visible then, we will leave it at that.  If the cyst is visible on the CT, we will discuss surgery options.  He said that surgery, should it be required, will mean the removal of a small portion of lung.  This shouldn't impact Munchkin's ability to participate in athletic pursuits later in life, as long as he listens to his body (i.e. just like someone with asthma - listen to body cues, take it easy if he needs to), but that there is no reason he wouldn't be able to lead an active life.

All right, I do believe that is all for now.  So, consider yourself updated.  :)

A Bit of Baby Jealousy

So, sometimes I tend to question my level of intelligence. I'm 31w3d pregnant now, and I've recently become engrossed with TLC's A Baby Story. Really cool, because it really makes me excited for Munchkin to come along, but really unintelligent because I see all of these women going through labor and I don't know that I really need to be immersing myself in thoughts about painful labor right now! It also makes me cry a lot because you get to see all of these little babies, and well, I'm pregnant, so yeah.

Pretty much, this whole time, I've been really just not into the whole pregnancy thing. It's cool that there's a little guy growing in there, but at the same time, I feel like I'm hosting a parasite, which, in a way, I kind of am. Like, if I don't get enough nutrients and calcium, he'll take them from me. That's the definition of a parasite, if I'm not mistaken. It's the weirdest feeling - I've heard/read a lot that it feels like little bubbles or butterfly wings. Maybe for other people, but not for me; for me, it's like I ate a really big meal of Polish sausage or something - you know, when you can feel the food clunking through your stomach. That's what it felt like when he first started moving enough that I could feel him. Now, I can sit on the couch and actually watch my stomach move! The poor kitties - they come up to lay on me, and then they get kicked by the baby. Hobbes doesn't seem to mind too much - she actually lays on my stomach or near my stomach almost exclusively. Calvin, however, will get up and move away. It's just weird to watch him kick and watch the blankets move or watch my boob move when he kicks at the top! But I digress. For the most part of the pregnancy, I just felt really inconvenienced. I can't bend over at the waist anymore, I can't twist my body - I have to turn my entire body, I can't shave my legs or bikini area anymore, of course, no drinking, I get tired so easily, my feet swell, I have to pee all the time, the thought of chicken makes me sick, etc. etc. etc. But recently, I feel like I've become a lot more involved in the pregnancy. I don't mind it like I used to. Don't get me wrong - there are still aspects I dislike - feeling like a wishbone on Thanksgiving, for example, or the fact that my emotions are so unstable. But I feel a lot closer to him. I guess it's a really good thing that pregnancy takes 9 months - it gives you a chance to make drastic changes in your thinking and really prepare yourself.

Chad's been amazing. He listens to my weird concerns and dreams (I had a dream that all of my teeth fell out) and he lets me talk about things that we've already talked about a hundred times. I was working on filling out a preliminary birth plan (which everyone tells you to write but no one gives you any idea of what exactly should be in it! - pregnancy.com has a birth plan worksheet to help you out, if you're curious), and Chad was sitting with me, asking me different questions about the things in there and offering his opinion. I think it was really good. We've also talked about pain management options. I've had back problems before (i.e. back spasms, pain, etc.), so I really didn't want to have any pain medication at all. There are two types - IV administered, which drugs you and the baby, or those administered via the spinal cord, which do not drug the baby. Since I've had back issues, I really didn't want anything at all to interfere with my back. I know some women back in MI who've had epidurals and had problems walking or had back pain issues afterward. I was not going to consider having an epidural at all. But Chad and I have continued to talk about it, and he's very supportive of my new stance: I want to try to do the labor without any pain medication, but that I will ask for the medication if I change my mind. The medication option that I will be going with if I do request it is an epidural. But I made Chad promise me that he wouldn't let the anesthesiologist mess up my back, lol.

Anyway, that's my random assortment of thoughts for now. You'll notice that they're jumbled - that's a normal state of affairs for me! LOL