Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Well, let's see here. It's been AGES since I wrote. I have no excuses, just an apology.

Meanwhile, Chad came home from deployment. We traveled to WI to visit the in-laws, to Chicago for cousin Holly's wedding, to MI so Chad could finally meet my grandparents (only three years into our marriage!), and then back to WI before finally flying back to CO. Wylie had his 12 month check-up, got his five 12-month shots, got his flu shot, got a CT scan with contrast, and got his synagis vaccine (for RSV) yesterday. We go meet with the pediatric surgeon on the 2nd of December. I read the report, and from what I can discern, the CCAM is still there. For those of you who don't recall, that means surgery is in his future.

I think those are the big things for now. I'll try to write more soon. And by soon, I don't mean 5 months from now. I mean like later this week. Promise. Well, I'll try. I'm only human!

Monday, June 21, 2010

That's All Folks!

Weeeeellllllll - I've got a lot to recap for you.

First, and focused on me - I went to the dentist last week for the first time in a year and half.  I was expecting to have my lower back left molar worked on, you know, since I'M MISSING PART OF IT.  Turns out, I had much more pressing dental issues.  There was a possibility I was going to have to have TWO root canals.  Plus two crowns.  Yikes.  I hate going to the dentist.  Well, luckily, when she got in there and was taking out the decay, she didn't actually have to go into the root cavity, so she didn't have to do a canal - but I did, obviously, have to have the crowns.  So now I've got temporary crowns and my jaw still hurts like a sonuvabish.  I go back on Friday to have the permanent crowns put on and have my cleaning.  Gah.  AND I maxed out my yearly allowance for dental coverage.  In one visit.  So when I have my back left molar fixed, that's going to come out of our pocket.  Sweet.

Meanwhile, and on a much more positive note, we leave for MI next week and I'm so effin excited!  I'm going to see my BFF KJ and my cousins and my sisters and some of Chad's family as well.

Also, Wylie is walking all around the living room hanging onto the furniture and is getting so excited to try and stand all on his own.  I'm going with a friend on Thursday to the outlets to buy him some shoes from the StrideRight outlet.  Also, this morning, he followed me up the four stairs from the family room into the kitchen!  I was getting the trash ready to take out and I heard him making some noise, so I turned around to look, and he had followed me up the stairs!

My birthday went well - KJ and I went out to dinner and had a cocktail then we went to see Sex and the City 2.  It was such a fun night.  I'm so glad that she could be here to celebrate my birthday with me.

Today, I took Wylie to see the pediatric surgeon.  Since the CCAM didn't show up on the x-rays, he's ordering a CT scan in six months and if it's present on the scan, we'll schedule the surgery then.  Sigh.  More waiting.

Well, I think that recaps all of the big things from the last few weeks or so.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Well, I've done it again...

Yes, Internet - I have been remiss again.  I know.  Apologies.  In the last couple of weeks, I have fallen off the blogosphere.  Wylie is so much more active now that I expend copious amounts of energy moving things out of his grasp and taking things that he has managed to grasp away from him.  When he finally gets to bed at night, I just want to be braindead.  So I have not blogged.  But I will remedy this.  Soon.  But not right now - he just woke up from his nap.  Motherhood calls.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Bit Your Quitchin'

You know, looking back on some of my previous posts, I have to admit I'm slightly appalled at my self-pity.  I recognize that I wasn't fully in control of my emotions (pregnancy and depressions can do cruel things to an otherwise self-confident and competent, independent woman), but still.  The whining.  It's, quite frankly, humiliating.  Sure, I could go back and edit my blog to remove those posts, but really, if you're reading this, you know me, and therefore, I don't need to impress.  Besides, the point of my blog is to express myself, and like it or not, I have good days and bad.  Thankfully (and I'm not being sarcastic here), I have chemical help these days.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who has a familial history, as well as environmental factors which contribute to, postpartum depression utilizing a little zoloft to stabilize the churning chemical soup that used to be her brain.

Frankly, you guys, I still have bad days.  But I am reminded every time I turn around how much worse it could be.  I could have been a victim of a natural disaster.  I could have had a much higher-risk pregnancy than I did.  I could be a widow; with a 7-month-old.  But the possibility that is most frightening for me is the fact that I could have faced a crippling diagnosis: cancer.

My family has a history of cancer.  Both paternal and maternal.  All kinds.  But cancer isn't really a concern for most twenty-somethings.  This is why I admire my cousin, who is also one of my closest friends.  A few years ago, in memory of her maternal grandmother, she got involved in fund-raising for the Susan G. Komen foundation for finding a cure for breast cancer.  She has participated in a few of the 3-day For a Cure walks (60 miles, 3 days), which requires a pretty hefty fund-raising entry fee.  She has captained (is that the right term?) a team, and last year, she herself was diagnosed with cancer: thyroid cancer.  The thyroid controls all sorts of things in the body, and now that she is sans thyroid, she has to rely on medication to regulate the feelings of body temperature (always feeling chilly versus always feeling too hot) and body weight - and it takes a while to achieve the correct balance.  I admire Christina so much because she faced her diagnosis head-on and took a very active approach to her treatment.  She blogged (and still blogs, fyi) about her experience, to share with other thyca survivors and those who know thyca survivors so they don't feel so alone.  She was there for me to discuss my concerns and fears for Wylie and to commiserate with me when I would hear, "Well, if there's a defect to have, it would be a CCAM!" (She often heard that thyroid cancer was a "good cancer".  Does anyone else cock their head to the side when they read that??  Good cancer?!)  Now, she is facing more testing and waiting to see if she has an autoimmune issue which affects the salivary glands (read: painful swelling of the facial areas AND dry mouth).

So, I want to take this opportunity to count my blessings.  And I want to dedicate this post to Christina, who also has good days and bad days, but is one of the bravest women I know - not because she is so strong, but because she is honest and admits that she is scared/worried/in pain/human.  She is not brave because she has no fear, but rather, she is brave because she tackles her fear.  And even though I don't always know the right thing to say, I want her to know that I love her and admire her.  I also want her to know that she always has a place to stay and an ear to fill.  Because God only knows that sometimes, you just need someone to listen.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A Complex Love Affair

I LOVE Wylie.  I don't know of a mother who doesn't love her child.  I love seeing his face light up when he notices me next to his crib in the morning or after one of his naps.  I love the toothless smile he gives me when he realizes he's just accomplished something.  I love how he'll crawl over to me while I'm sitting on the floor by him and put his hands on my legs and lift his face up to mine.  I love the way he snuggles into me after he's done nursing.  I love the way he smacks his lips to blow me kisses.  And thinking of these things about him that I love makes me weepy.

But I still need mommy time.  I need to get a night out of the house, sans baby, to just be an adult.  And it's things like this that make me hate Colorado.  Because, for the life of me, I can't seem to find a sitter.  So I continue on in my complex love affair with my child because I love everything about him, but I need some me time.  And I feel more twisted and pulled as each day goes by.  Because I don't seem to have anyone here on whom I can rely.  And that hurts my heart.

Edited to add: A friend recommended to me on Facebook to try the site SitterCity.  So I went to the site and signed up for a free trial (one week).  Turns out, once I registered for that, I found out that they offer free memberships to military families, compliments of DoD.  EFF.  Why didn't anyone tell me this?!  Eff, eff, eff, EFF!  This information could have saved me so much heart ache and many headaches.  {sigh}  Oh well - I posted a job listing and I already have a response (which I can't view her contact details until the customer service center opens tomorrow and they translate my free trial to my mil membership).  The best part?  It's the woman who I was scoping earlier who actually decided me to try the free trial!  Score. So, Customer Service Center, hurry up and call me back tomorrow so I can tell this woman that I want her to come babysit.  Thank you.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Embarking on my new career

If you know anything about me, you know my colossally bad luck.  It shouldn't be called Murphy's Law, it should be Lacey's Law.  So, yesterday I had my informational meeting with an Avon lady and I signed up. (Totally easy start-up, PS.  If you're interested in finding out more, please feel free to email me at MrsLThorner{at}gmail{dot}com.)  She is my up-line contact (basically, she's the first I call with questions) and she said that she would get me registered when she got home.  Cool beans.

I figured that by 9 pm last night, she would've had time to do that, so I go to the website to get registered and start going through my online training, only to discover that Avon can't verify my information.  I sent her a text about it and went to bed.  I tried again this morning and got the same message, but I also got a number that I could call.  Turns out that my account number had been registered to someone else.  Cool.  So now what?  Well, today was our district's President's luncheon, so I texted my upline and she was talking about it with all of the other managers and all of her uplines, and guess what?  Among all of them, they have only heard of this happening only three other times in all of their combined years of Avon experience.  STELLAR.  So I had to wait for the help desk to email me a new account number before I could get started.  But, everything is now go!  And, so you all can help me with launching my new career, you all get FREE SHIPPING on your first order through my online store!  Just visit My Avon Store.  And, once I start getting some clientele established, you can bet your booty I'm going to start doing a giveaway or two!

On a different note, unrelated to Avon but in keeping with my luck, I thought the sleep training was going well until we got to the morning nap today.  I tried for TWO HOURS STRAIGHT to get Wylie down for his nap.  Finally, I had to nurse him twice to get him back down.  I also had to NoseFrida him. Twice.  Then he woke up about 2 pm.  Fine.  He didn't show signs of being tired for quite a while, so I just figured that he was skipping his afternoon nap in favor of an early bed time.  NOT SO, INTERNET.  He just woke up.  So I have no idea what my night is going to look like, but I'm guessing it's not going to be pretty.  Pray for me, internet.  Please.  Pray for me to have patience and a glass of wine.  Or two.

And a killer Avon launch.  Please.  Extra money is necessary so I can afford a sitter to get out of the house and drink with other adults.  Or just get out by myself.  Help me.  Thank you!  Oh, and once I get some money coming in, you can maybe look forward to free samples of killer products like the Flash Facial, the Luminosity Pro Brightenig Serum, and the Professional Cellulite Treatment, plus many more as they become available.  Help me support small business - you buy from me, I buy a margarita!  Good night, Internet!

Monday, May 17, 2010

My Own Personal Hell: DAY THREE

So, we're on day three of the sleep (re-) training.  I was reading in one of my parenting magazines (from like four months ago, but I'm just now getting around to reading it) that this one woman and her husband take walks before bedtime with their daughter.  The fresh air tires her out and gives the adults some energy, so I thought, "What the hell?"  Today, after a dinner of rice cereal and squash (Wylie's, not mine), I retied my Reeboks and loaded him into the stroller.  We just a did a nice leisurely walk around the block and he really enjoyed it.  We came home and he rolled around on his quilt with his toys and then I took him upstairs.  I nursed him, read him a couple stories and then rocked him a little.  I put him down drowsy but awake and left the room.  And he cried for maybe 8 minutes and now?  SILENCE.  Blessed silence.  Thank you, Lord!

On a side note: I never got around to making those individual portions of lasagna.  It's been moved up on my to-do calendar.  Right after, "Clean out the freezer some".  You know, so I can fit those individual portions of lasagna in there.  So right now, I'm eating some leftover Italian wedding soup, some chili, some spaghetti sauce, and other little tidbits I have in there.  Which should last me some while until my BFF gets here.

Oh, and I am officially an Avon lady.  Will get you all the website address as soon as I have it finalized.  :)