Embarking on my new career

If you know anything about me, you know my colossally bad luck.  It shouldn't be called Murphy's Law, it should be Lacey's Law.  So, yesterday I had my informational meeting with an Avon lady and I signed up. (Totally easy start-up, PS.  If you're interested in finding out more, please feel free to email me at MrsLThorner{at}gmail{dot}com.)  She is my up-line contact (basically, she's the first I call with questions) and she said that she would get me registered when she got home.  Cool beans.

I figured that by 9 pm last night, she would've had time to do that, so I go to the website to get registered and start going through my online training, only to discover that Avon can't verify my information.  I sent her a text about it and went to bed.  I tried again this morning and got the same message, but I also got a number that I could call.  Turns out that my account number had been registered to someone else.  Cool.  So now what?  Well, today was our district's President's luncheon, so I texted my upline and she was talking about it with all of the other managers and all of her uplines, and guess what?  Among all of them, they have only heard of this happening only three other times in all of their combined years of Avon experience.  STELLAR.  So I had to wait for the help desk to email me a new account number before I could get started.  But, everything is now go!  And, so you all can help me with launching my new career, you all get FREE SHIPPING on your first order through my online store!  Just visit My Avon Store.  And, once I start getting some clientele established, you can bet your booty I'm going to start doing a giveaway or two!

On a different note, unrelated to Avon but in keeping with my luck, I thought the sleep training was going well until we got to the morning nap today.  I tried for TWO HOURS STRAIGHT to get Wylie down for his nap.  Finally, I had to nurse him twice to get him back down.  I also had to NoseFrida him. Twice.  Then he woke up about 2 pm.  Fine.  He didn't show signs of being tired for quite a while, so I just figured that he was skipping his afternoon nap in favor of an early bed time.  NOT SO, INTERNET.  He just woke up.  So I have no idea what my night is going to look like, but I'm guessing it's not going to be pretty.  Pray for me, internet.  Please.  Pray for me to have patience and a glass of wine.  Or two.

And a killer Avon launch.  Please.  Extra money is necessary so I can afford a sitter to get out of the house and drink with other adults.  Or just get out by myself.  Help me.  Thank you!  Oh, and once I get some money coming in, you can maybe look forward to free samples of killer products like the Flash Facial, the Luminosity Pro Brightenig Serum, and the Professional Cellulite Treatment, plus many more as they become available.  Help me support small business - you buy from me, I buy a margarita!  Good night, Internet!

Let the Claiming of the Birth Month Freebies Commence!

So, I received my freebie birthday gift email from Sephora this week. It's a free little eye kit - mascara, eye shadow, eye liner. Those of you who know me, know that I am a sucker for a good deal. And it doesn't get better than FREE folks. I guess you could call me a FREE-K. Haha. Stole that pun from This Woman.

So, in addition to my birthday freebie, Sephora.com also allows you three free samples with each order. AND they had a free sample of Clarins Body Lift sculpting cream. I bought two OPI nailpolishes (which were on sale for $5 each) and got FIVE FREE THINGS! Score. And S&H was only $6. Oh yeah. I'm awesome. I love being cheap.

BTW: in case you wanted to send me a gift, or just birthday wishes, you have just under two weeks left...

Quick journey through the thoughts of a harried woman...

So, I was reading my friend Kristi's blog and noticed that she had a list of freebies she got for her birthday recently.  I thought, WTH, especially since Chad's going to be gone for my birthday again this year.  So I created a junkmail account and signed up for a ton of free birthday offers!  Among some of these are Red Robin, Old Navy, ColdStone, and Helzberg Diamonds!  So I'll have to let you know how successful I was at gaining free stuff when my birthday rolls around (which, btw is May 28, in case you needed to add that to your calendar).

Anyway, Wylie is so adorable.  But he's weird too, which I should have expected, especially because he's a combination of both Chad and myself.  Ergo: WEIRD.  For instance, when he's feeding, I'd say at least once a day he clamps down on the nipple, starts grunting and pulling his head away - with the nipple still in his mouth.  So I unlatch him and put him up to my shoulder to burp him, but that's not what he wants either.  I don't know - maybe he's just going nuts?  It's so weird!  And his smiles are so cute!  Still trying to get one on film, but he's too fricking cute people.

On a completely different note: I LOVE the pack'n'play!  I finally, FINALLY put the batteries in the little electric things that come with it.  One is a bassinet vibrator and the other is the controller for that/the sound maker.  It totally keeps him from screaming when I put him back in it after a changing so I can wash my hands.  And when he wakes up about 5 am just for kicks and giggles, I pretty much just have to pop his paci in his mouth, turn on the vibrator and it usually lulls him right back into oblivion.  I'm TOTALLY kicking myself for not having done that earlier.  It's for sure a godsend.

And tonight is going to be my first experience bathing the boy by myself.  Should be a good time all around.  If I remember, I'll maybe post about that later.

Lastly, I'd like to apologize for the grotesquely unorganized, stream-of-consciousness posts lately.  But if you've ever been in my shoes (i.e. New Mother), you know how it is.  Deal.  :)  Happy Friday!