Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Gloomy Day

Well, after another fun night of waking up at 3 am and not being able to fall back asleep until 6:30, I find myself in a weird spot today.

I'm really missing my friends back home. I love Colorado and I love it out here, I love our house and everything, but I really wish right now that we lived closer to everyone. I keep reading in these baby books and online that all of these people will be right there to help you and that when people offer to help to take them up on it after the birth. But that won't apply to us. None of our family are here to help and the only one of my friends who may be here to help out would be Katie Jarvi, but that all depends on her schedule and when I actually go into labor.

I guess I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed by the lack of actual physical support but I still feel like there's so much we don't have yet. If it weren't for my cousin Christina and my mom throwing me showers while I was back home, I would've never had one. Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones, but I'm starting to feel really negatively about having this baby so far away from everyone back home. Back home I have the support system that all of these books talk about - my family, my friends, my in-laws - but here, I just have friends who I'm not really all that close with. At least, thank God, Chad will be here for labor and delivery. He might have to leave some time in January, but that's still nebulous, so I try not to think about that. And at least my mom and dad are coming for Thanksgiving and my in-laws are coming for Christmas, and Jarvi is for sure coming out in February, if she can't make it out for the birth. She's the only person other than Chad who will possibly be here for that very first part.

I don't know. I've just started feeling pretty negatively about living so far away from everyone who I've known for so long. It's hard, because I can't wait to meet my son and to see Chad being a father, but at the same time, I just feel really resentful of living so far away right now. It's not that I don't have friends out here, it's just that I don't really feel like they are friends I can really lean on. So if you live back home, and I call you up in the very near future, please just be a little kind - I'm feeling a little homesick is all.


  1. When you live far away and/or are going through something big, you tend to find out who will be the ones that are really there for you no matter what... it totally sucks. There isn't much more to say than it sucks because some of those people are ones you were there for in their time of need and they just aren't willing (ie: are too selfish) to reciprocate. Sometimes it's because they are also going through something big and can't be there for you even when they wish they could be. BIG HUGS hon and if I could be in CO for you, I would be!

  2. Aw, thanks! I know, but still, it gets a little lonely sometimes, just me and Chadley (and the bump). :)