Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Bit of Baby Jealousy

So, sometimes I tend to question my level of intelligence. I'm 31w3d pregnant now, and I've recently become engrossed with TLC's A Baby Story. Really cool, because it really makes me excited for Munchkin to come along, but really unintelligent because I see all of these women going through labor and I don't know that I really need to be immersing myself in thoughts about painful labor right now! It also makes me cry a lot because you get to see all of these little babies, and well, I'm pregnant, so yeah.

Pretty much, this whole time, I've been really just not into the whole pregnancy thing. It's cool that there's a little guy growing in there, but at the same time, I feel like I'm hosting a parasite, which, in a way, I kind of am. Like, if I don't get enough nutrients and calcium, he'll take them from me. That's the definition of a parasite, if I'm not mistaken. It's the weirdest feeling - I've heard/read a lot that it feels like little bubbles or butterfly wings. Maybe for other people, but not for me; for me, it's like I ate a really big meal of Polish sausage or something - you know, when you can feel the food clunking through your stomach. That's what it felt like when he first started moving enough that I could feel him. Now, I can sit on the couch and actually watch my stomach move! The poor kitties - they come up to lay on me, and then they get kicked by the baby. Hobbes doesn't seem to mind too much - she actually lays on my stomach or near my stomach almost exclusively. Calvin, however, will get up and move away. It's just weird to watch him kick and watch the blankets move or watch my boob move when he kicks at the top! But I digress. For the most part of the pregnancy, I just felt really inconvenienced. I can't bend over at the waist anymore, I can't twist my body - I have to turn my entire body, I can't shave my legs or bikini area anymore, of course, no drinking, I get tired so easily, my feet swell, I have to pee all the time, the thought of chicken makes me sick, etc. etc. etc. But recently, I feel like I've become a lot more involved in the pregnancy. I don't mind it like I used to. Don't get me wrong - there are still aspects I dislike - feeling like a wishbone on Thanksgiving, for example, or the fact that my emotions are so unstable. But I feel a lot closer to him. I guess it's a really good thing that pregnancy takes 9 months - it gives you a chance to make drastic changes in your thinking and really prepare yourself.

Chad's been amazing. He listens to my weird concerns and dreams (I had a dream that all of my teeth fell out) and he lets me talk about things that we've already talked about a hundred times. I was working on filling out a preliminary birth plan (which everyone tells you to write but no one gives you any idea of what exactly should be in it! - has a birth plan worksheet to help you out, if you're curious), and Chad was sitting with me, asking me different questions about the things in there and offering his opinion. I think it was really good. We've also talked about pain management options. I've had back problems before (i.e. back spasms, pain, etc.), so I really didn't want to have any pain medication at all. There are two types - IV administered, which drugs you and the baby, or those administered via the spinal cord, which do not drug the baby. Since I've had back issues, I really didn't want anything at all to interfere with my back. I know some women back in MI who've had epidurals and had problems walking or had back pain issues afterward. I was not going to consider having an epidural at all. But Chad and I have continued to talk about it, and he's very supportive of my new stance: I want to try to do the labor without any pain medication, but that I will ask for the medication if I change my mind. The medication option that I will be going with if I do request it is an epidural. But I made Chad promise me that he wouldn't let the anesthesiologist mess up my back, lol.

Anyway, that's my random assortment of thoughts for now. You'll notice that they're jumbled - that's a normal state of affairs for me! LOL

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