Whew!

Okay, so after fighting (figuratively, of course) with both Photobucket and Blogspot, I finally got my slideshow to look how I wanted it and be positioned where I wanted it.  All it took was for me to manually edit some HTML code.  And multiplying whole integers with fractions.  It was not easy.  But I'm fully enjoying the fruits of my labor!  Anyway...

Bath time tonight was interesting.  This is the first time I've given Wylie a bath completely solo.  Before, I've had people around who could fetch me things I'd forgotten to have right on hand (you know, like a towel, a clean diaper, pajamas, etc.) or to clean up for me while I started in on feeding him (dump the tub water, hang up the towels, throw out the dirty diaper, etc.).  It was also the first time that he hasn't peed in the bathtub.  (Score!)  So, the avoiding-forgotten-essentials thing was easily avoided: simply set things up well in advance of bathtime.  Okie dokie.  I got him undressed and into the tub no problem.  I also found that if I quick wash his face and then lay the warm washcloth over his crotch, he doesn't pee.  So I washed his hair and then simply wiped him down with warm water, foregoing the body wash, to keep his skin from drying out too much.  He seemed to really enjoy it too.  Yay!  Because let me tell you, the first time I bathed him after his umbilicus fell off, he screamed the whole damn time!  But now, he screams when I take him out of the bath.  I don't entirely understand why - the bathroom where we bathe him is really warm, no drafts and he goes right into his hooded towel.  Maybe he's just not ready to leave the bathtub yet?  Maybe he's just like his momma and he wants a nice leisurely soak in the tub?  Well, I'm not about to head down that road yet - I really don't want to clean poop out of the tub.  Yes, I hear that eventually, every kid poops in the tub.  Fine.  I just don't want to have to cross that bridge just yet.

Anyway, I got him bathed and changed without a hitch.  And as much as I hate Chad being gone and really wish that he was here to help me right now, I feel pretty okay about this last week.  I think it's been a good test run for when he's going to be gone again (end of January for about 10-14 days and then probably March or April for a good six months or more).  I'm glad that I don't just have to go cold turkey on this whole fake-single-mom bit, and I still have LOADS of respect for anyone who is raising a child (or, gasp, CHILDREN) on their own.  You are truly super stars!

Gads.  Lastly, I would just like to say, I sufficiently scared the crap out of myself tonight.  I sincerely enjoy watching shows like A Haunting, Ghost Lab, Ghost Whisperer, etc.  Well, Friday night tv really sucks since Psych is on a mid-season break (and is moving to a new night anyway) and so is White Collar, so I was flipping through the channels and I saw The Haunted on Animal Planet.  Usually these shows don't bother me all that much.  But this one in particular focuses on the effects of hauntings on pets.  WTF.  I don't believe my house is haunted (I do believe I've been in a legitimate haunted house before, I can write more about that another time), but I do believe that my cats are crazy.  For pete's sake, I have a cat on Prozac!  But it was eerie to here these people's descriptions of their pets behavior in the midst of the alleged hauntings.  I don't know - I can't really put my finger on it.  But suffice it to say I then watched an hour of That 70s Show and then kind of got roped into watching the first part of an informercial for this that kind of intrigued me in order to kind of clear my head.

Sidenote: That body shaper is intriguing because of the ad - I don't really think I need one just yet.  But I'm totally a sucker for advertising, I've decided.  It's a good thing I don't have an inexhaustible account - I'd buy tons of useless junk, I'm sure.  Thank God I'm smarter than that and don't have throwaway money!

Okay, I have to go get wrist-deep in poopy and feed the baby.  Good night all!

As Promised...

As promised long ago, I created a Photobucket account for the express purpose of sharing photos with all of you lovely people...

Here is the long-awaited link!  First photos of Wylie

You can also purchase prints from Photobucket to be delivered to your house or to pick up at your local target.  Although, according to my mom, it's cheaper to have the photos delivered to your house (9 cents/photo) than it is to pick them up at Target (20 cents/photo).  I haven't tried to do any of that yet, so that's just what my mom has told me....

Enjoy!

PS - you may have also noticed the schmancy new slide show - enjoy it!  (These are all the same photos available in the album thus far.)

Quick journey through the thoughts of a harried woman...

So, I was reading my friend Kristi's blog and noticed that she had a list of freebies she got for her birthday recently.  I thought, WTH, especially since Chad's going to be gone for my birthday again this year.  So I created a junkmail account and signed up for a ton of free birthday offers!  Among some of these are Red Robin, Old Navy, ColdStone, and Helzberg Diamonds!  So I'll have to let you know how successful I was at gaining free stuff when my birthday rolls around (which, btw is May 28, in case you needed to add that to your calendar).

Anyway, Wylie is so adorable.  But he's weird too, which I should have expected, especially because he's a combination of both Chad and myself.  Ergo: WEIRD.  For instance, when he's feeding, I'd say at least once a day he clamps down on the nipple, starts grunting and pulling his head away - with the nipple still in his mouth.  So I unlatch him and put him up to my shoulder to burp him, but that's not what he wants either.  I don't know - maybe he's just going nuts?  It's so weird!  And his smiles are so cute!  Still trying to get one on film, but he's too fricking cute people.

On a completely different note: I LOVE the pack'n'play!  I finally, FINALLY put the batteries in the little electric things that come with it.  One is a bassinet vibrator and the other is the controller for that/the sound maker.  It totally keeps him from screaming when I put him back in it after a changing so I can wash my hands.  And when he wakes up about 5 am just for kicks and giggles, I pretty much just have to pop his paci in his mouth, turn on the vibrator and it usually lulls him right back into oblivion.  I'm TOTALLY kicking myself for not having done that earlier.  It's for sure a godsend.

And tonight is going to be my first experience bathing the boy by myself.  Should be a good time all around.  If I remember, I'll maybe post about that later.

Lastly, I'd like to apologize for the grotesquely unorganized, stream-of-consciousness posts lately.  But if you've ever been in my shoes (i.e. New Mother), you know how it is.  Deal.  :)  Happy Friday!

Some Observations from the Other Side

ONE
I finally changed my blog picture.  Yes, I know it's now six weeks old.  But that's the best I can do because blogspot is being weird and won't import a photo from facebook that I wanted to use, so I had to make do with one that Chad had sent me and I have already uploaded to my computer and exported for use online.  I STILL don't know where my camera charger is (I finally caved to Chad pressuring me and have agreed to just get a new one, even though I still like my old one).  I do have some photos in my inbox from my mom from when they were visiting, but frankly, I haven't uploaded or exported those yet.

TWO
I have a profound new respect for single mothers.  Holy shit.  Chad left on Sunday for WA and will be there until the 19th.  Sunday went alright, but Monday.  People, Monday sucked.  I ate 1.5 meals.  THAT'S IT.  I was starving, but that wasn't the worst part.  The worst part was then that Wylie refused to actually sleep Monday night (or was it Sunday night?  I don't even remember now).  I think I got a solid 45 minutes at a time.  Sigh.  Things are better now.  Yesterday I was able to put him in his bassinet twice in order to quick inhale some waffles and then get dinner started.  Today, I'm on my third time with him sleeping in his bassinet.  But I still cannot wait for Chad to get home.

THREE
On the 19th, Chad gets home, his mom flies in, and our friends Mike and Saranya arrive as well for a visit.  They're all flying in to Denver: Chad first, his mom an hour later, and then Mike and Saranya about an hour and a half after that.  So Chad is going to hang out until everyone arrives.  Which means that over this next week and a half that is left while Chad is gone, I have to somehow make sure that house stays in company ready condition.  Right.

FOUR
Wylie is finally growing.  Well, not that he wasn't before, but it's a palpable growth now.  At first, the newborn onesies were getting tight in the crotch area, so I decided it was time to start using the 3 mos. onesies.  Well, today, he wore his first complete outfit in the 3 mos. size.  It's adorable - it's one that Sharon (MIL) bought for him.

FIVE
The last time I shaved my legs was in August.  It just got too hard to shave them.  I kept telling myself, once I have the baby, then I'll be able to shave them.  Yeah, right.  I don't even get to wash my face twice a day every day.  I will just say this: I'm at Man Status.  Ew.

SIX
As much as I want Chad to come home, it's so nice to have the bed to myself and not have to worry about whether he gets back to sleep okay when Wylie wakes up for a nighttime feeding.  Calvin likes it too.  Silly cat resumes sleeping with me while Chad's gone.

SEVEN
I have my six week postpartum checkup next week.  So far, I'm feeling pretty good about things.  Yes, I'm tired.  Duh.  I love my baby and feel close to him.  (BTW: he smiled at me for the first time yesterday.  I thought I was going to melt, people!)  I feel pretty okay about my postpartum body (though my stomach looks like crepe paper and I sincerely vow that my midriff will never again see the light of day in public) - I am already weighing less than I was when I first got pregnant (at least that was the case the last time I was weighed at the doctors).  Chad helps around the house as much as he can.  Though, I will say that I really, really miss my family and friends from back home.  I kind of feel like the pregnancy totally embittered me toward Colorado.  Yes, it's pretty here and I do like it, but I really just feel pretty resentful toward Colorado a lot of the time now.  I hope that passes some - spending the next three to four years feeling like this is going to be rough.

Alright, the baby is stirring, so I must be off.  But I just wanted to update some :)

And here are some more photos....

 This is a blanket sleeper that Grandma Sharon bought for him.  She loved this one (it was in the box of clothes she mailed to us) - it was her favorite.
















In most of these next pictures, he's still jaundiced, so you can tell these are older.  These are when he's between 1 week and 3 weeks of age...

He's so precious!  And I love the faces that he makes!

4 Weeks Already?!

Wow.  I can hardly believe that it's been four weeks since I went to the hospital to have Wylie.  We are so blessed to have our little boy.

Meanwhile, I've been trying to figure out how to get things done during the day with Wylie while Chad's at work.  I just got my Moby wrap today and tried it out - felt a little awkward trying to wrap that much fabric around myself, but it felt pretty okay when I got Wylie settled into it to see how it would work out.  It's going to take a couple more times before I feel completely comfortable with it, but I'm pretty excited about it!

We had a great Thanksgiving with my parents here.  I used one of those Turkey bags to cook the turkey and it was SUPER moist!  It went well with the little guy and getting the dinner ready, but of course, I have my parents to thank for that.  They've been so helpful being here and taking care of the baby so Chad and I can get things done.

I'm really going to miss them when they leave either Wednesday or Thursday.  And then Chad leaves Sunday for 11 days.  Sigh.  Oh well - such is life!  Got to go change and feed the boy then get dinner started.  I'll try to post again soon!

Forgive me, Internet, as I have been remiss!

So, as you are no doubt aware by now - I had the baby.  :)

Ok, now that I dropped the big piece of news, let me write you up his birth story.  On Friday, October 30, I went in to Maternal Fetal Medicine for my routine non-stress test and modified bio-physical profile (read: they strapped me to monitors and checked my blood pressure).  Well, over the last few weeks, my BP had been rising; I've always had relatively low BP, so this was pretty concerning for me.  Well, on the 30th, my BP at the first go was 160/110.  I also woke up that morning with a headache that two Tylenol never even touched.  The nurse flipped me onto my side, turned down the lights and just had me close my eyes for a little bit before taking it again.  It was still high.  So she waited until almost the end of my 20 minutes NST and then took it again.  When it remained high, she informed me that she would "have to tell on [me]."  Sigh.  So she went and talked to one of the three docs in MFM and they decided that I should go over to L&D triage to be monitored for a while.  They also (of course) wanted me to pee in a cup over there.  At this point, they were only mildly worried about pre-eclampsia as I hadn't had any protein in my urine before, but they were checking nonetheless.

Chad was out in Florissant for some training, so he was (conservatively estimating) about an hour and a half away.  Since I didn't want to alarm him over nothing, I decided not to tell him that they were monitoring me.  I figured that if they just sent me home, it was no harm, no foul, but if they decided to keep me, well, I could call him then.  Fast forward an hour and half of having my blood pressure taken every 15 minutes and peeing 3 times: my blood pressure readings were all over the place.  At that point, they decided to admit me for observation in the Women's Pavilion.  I also (joy) got to partake in a 24-hour urine collection.  Sigh.  So I called Chad and tried to reassure him that everything was okay.  Of course, he left immediately to come back to the Springs and was a nervous wreck.  The Women's Pavilion was pretty nice, and they gave me vicodin for my headache (thank God), though it didn't really work until I got the second dose.  Again, they had to monitor my BP, but they didn't have to do it every 15 minutes.  But still - have you ever tried to sleep with a BP cuff on??  NOT FUN.  And of course, they came in and woke me up at 4 am to get a blood sample.

In the morning, Dr. Klein came in and talked with me.  She said that if they found any protein in my urine, they would begin induction that evening.  At the end of the day, there wasn't any protein in my urine, so they released me home on bed rest.  OMG.  Bed rest is awful.  I have no idea how those women last months on bed rest.  I was on bed rest for all of two and a half days and I wanted to kill myself.  NOT FUN.  Dr. Klein instructed me to call Monday morning to schedule my induction.

Now, let me pause here.  I did not want to be induced.  I had heard no real positives to endorse induction, so that's where I stood on that issue.  But with my blood pressure being so erratic and high, it was more stressful on the baby than an induction would be.  Now, I might be stubborn (okay, okay, I AM stubborn), but I'm not stupid.  I didn't want my baby to be distressed.

So I called Monday morning and they said that I would need to call L&D that evening at 8 pm to make sure that they had a bed available for my 9 pm induction.  Wow.  Okay.  So I called at 8 pm and sure enough, they have a bed.  At this point, I was a ball of anxious energy.  Chad gathered the bags and went out to the Rav, only to discover that the battery was dead.  Damn.  So we get out the jumper cables and leave his truck running for 35 minutes, trying to charge the dead battery on the Rav - to no avail!  Finally, I tell Chad to just take me into the hospital in the truck and he can deal with the dead battery later (we wound up having to buy a new one, it was that dead).  So we get to the hospital almost an hour after my scheduled induction time and they take me to my L&D room.  Bed wasn't as nice as the ones in the WP, but the ones in L&D have to break down.  You know, for when you have the baby.  So go figure that they're not as comfortable.

So about 10:30 that evening (mind you, this is Monday, November 2), they administer the first dose of cytotec.  (It ripens the cervix and promotes the inital dilatation.)  It's a vaginal suppository, so you have to lie prone for quite some time after they place it, hence why my doctor scheduled my induction to begin at night.  God bless intelligent doctors!  They then administered the next dose 3 hours later and a third dose 3 hours after that.  By 7 am, they decided that they would begin a pitocin drip (a synthetic oxytocin, the chemical your body releases to start actual contractions) via IV.  I was feeling NOTHING.  I thought - this is a breeze!  I progress through a few more centimeters of dilatation in blissful ignorance.  Then, at 10:30 am, they decided to break my water.  (Side note: weirdest feeling ever!)  The contractions started to feel a bit stronger after that, but not really.  An hour later, they were upping my pitocin to really get the contractions going.

Everything was progressing along well enough until the noticed that with my contractions getting stronger, my blood pressure was creeping up, and, scary part, staying up between contractions.  My nurse came in and said that she knew I was hoping for a pain-med free labor and explained about my BP.  She said that if I wanted, I could try a half dose of fentanyl to take the edge of the contractions, which should allow my body to relax between them and hence reduce the stress on the baby.  So I consented to a half dose.  About an hour and a half later, the fentanyl didn't feel like it had worked at all and I was starting to get that pounding BP headache again.  I caved.  I asked for the epidural.  (They also gave me the rest of the fentanyl dose, as they would just have to toss it.)

I know I said I didn't want an epidural, but when they tell you that your body is creating stress on your baby, you tend to forget about petty fears, like getting a needle stuck in your back.  Getting the epidural HURT.  VERY BADLY.  But I was able to sleep some after receiving it, which helped me to relax and lower my BP.  (Just for kicks and giggles, I want to throw out there that my nurse said I was handling the contraction pain very well before they medicated me, so I felt proud of that.)  And even though I had a dead leg from the epi, it was totally worth it.  (I have to admit that next time, I'm probably just going to get the epi.)  About 8 pm, the contractions were soo painful that I had to hit the button on my epi - and it didn't work.  It had run out.  It took them a little time to get another bag of the meds, so I was back to feeling those contractions (not so fun).  At 9 pm, they checked me and said that I was at 8, almost 9, centimeters.  I was still waiting for the epi to kick back in and was pretty much mindless of everything else.  Fifteen minutes later, I was frantically paging the nurse because I HAD TO PUSH.  She checked me and was surprised that I was right!  She had me practice push but quickly stopped me.  Apparently, I practiced too well.  They were rushing to page the doctor to come in to my room.  They quickly broke down the bed and had me scoot down to the bottom.  Twenty-seven minutes and one episiotomy later, I gave birth to our son, Wylie Joseph Thorner at 9:48 pm on November 3, 2009.  He was 6 pounds, 11 ounces and measured 20 3/4 inches long.  He was breathing well on his own and crying strongly, so they didn't need to take him to the NICU.

The next morning, they took Wylie to give him a chest xray to check on the CCAM.  It was not present on the xray.  THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE CCAM IS GONE.  In fact, it is fairly common that the smaller CCAMs do not present on an xray.  What this does mean is that at about 3 mos of age, Wylie will go in for a CT scan of his chest.  IF the CT scan is clean, we will adopt a monitoring attitude (this is very unlikely, but not improbable).  If the CT scan shows the CCAM (which is most likely will), we will begin to discuss a course of action for surgery.  As I have stated before, not removing the CCAM is not an option as they have a tendency to turn malignant later in life.  But for now, he is having no problems breathing and is a happy baby boy.  We couldn't love him more!

Ugh!

So, today I went for my 38 week check, a growth ultrasound, and my non-stress test.  First, let me just tell you all right off the bat - there has been no progress since last week.  I'm still 1-2 cm dilated and 50% effaced.  He's still head down, and somehow, he's managed to get his foot up by his face.  Don't ask me how.  Apparently, both of his feet are right up there.  Maybe we should've nicknamed him Bean this whole time instead of Munchkin if he's going to be all curled up like that.

Now, and this might be the *best* part (that's sarcasm): the u/s tech was taking the measurements on the ultrasound and when she measured his head, she says (and I quote): "Wow."  Excuse me, what?  Apparently, our son has quite the dome on him.  She said that is the major reason why he's measuring 7 pounds 2 ounces.  Yikes.  So sometime in the next two weeks (please GOD!!!) I'm going to be pushing a 7+ pound kid with a large dome out of my body.  Great.

Speaking of, since there were no new changes in the cervix, induction talk has been tabled (not that I was really considering it - I haven't heard many positive experiences of it).  And it's grey outside right now and apparently we're supposed to get enough snow tomorrow and Thursday to pretty much snow us in.

Oh, and I got my H1N1 vaccine today, which means tomorrow I can look forward to not just snow but a bruised and sore upper left arm.

In the words of Pepe Le Pew: Le sigh.

It's been an age!

Yes, yes, I know.  It's been an age since I've written - get over it!  LOL

Let's see - well, I guess the most exciting news for me: I'm currently 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced (this is as of Tuesday, which was three weeks from my EDD), so that's definitely good news.  The doctor said I could go at any time, but more realistically that I won't make it to my due date.  She also said that they would consider inducing me at 39 weeks if I was interested and my cervix continues to cooperate.  HOWEVER - I do not plan to be induced.  I have not heard many pleasant experiences from people who have been induced, so I'm more inclined to let nature take its course.  Don't get me wrong - I am SUPER uncomfortable and would like to no longer have a time-share situation occurring with my body.  BUT - I would like to let Munchkin come on his own.  (Hahahaha - are you all getting sick of hearing Munchkin?  Want to know the name?  Well, soon, my friends, very soon!!  Hahahahahaha)

Meanwhile, it's been great having Chad home again this week.  I hate it when he has to go away - thank God we're now looking at closer to February for the next time he will be gone (6 mos.).  Other than that, there are 11 days in December when he'll have some kind of training to go for, but it's looking like my mother-in-law will be here during that time, so I'm not too worried about wrangling the baby all by my lonesome then.  Speaking of my mother-in-law - she went to the outlet malls by her house last week and bought a bunch of baby clothes.  Now, let me clarify here - by bunch, I mean that the box that arrived in the mail yesterday weighed 15 lbs.  FIFTEEN POUNDS!!!  It took me almost 20 minutes to cut off the tags and remove the size stickers.  But we needed the clothes, so I'm VERY VERY grateful!  She also bought us a 7-pack of pooh bibs (super cute!) and some socks and hats.  Speaking of hats, anyone have a simple (and I want to emphasize simple) but cute knitting pattern for baby hats?  I think I'd like to buy some baby yarn just knit up a few hats for him to wear - so many of the hats we have now are part of an ensemble - it'd be nice just to have some general-looking ones, you know?  Like maybe a taupe-colored one, a light blue one, a white one, etc.  She also bought us a CD of AC/DC tunes reconfigured as lullabies.  I have yet to listen to it, but I almost died when I saw it.  I showed it to Chad and he cracked up as well.  I guess our son isn't going to be stuck listening to "The Wheels On the Bus", lol.

My mom also bought us a ton more stuff (God bless Grandmas!!), most notably one of those Bundle Mes to keep the little man warm on his way home from the hospital.  She also bought us more of the breast pump supplies, so I'm hoping that we get the breastpump!  LOL

I'm really looking forward to my parents coming out here to visit.  Chad just finished painting the spare bedroom this week, so the guest room is completely finished now!  Although, I think I'm going to need to find a new lamp to put in there as the one that is in there now kind of hums.  I'm not sure why, but it would get annoying, so that's something I'll need to look into doing and soon.  And after my parents, Chad's mom will be coming out for a week before his dad comes out and joins us.  It's going to be nice to see everyone and to have help with the baby as well.

Mostly, at this point, I just keep thinking about the baby.  I can see him in parts of our lives, but I know that I have NO IDEA how much our lives are really going to change.  It's weird - I have the pack-n-play set up next to the bed (it's currently loaded full of my craft bag and pillows to keep Hobbes from laying in it - I felt bad for that because she looked so cute, but I didn't want her thinking that she could lay in there - it's for the baby, afterall), we have the swing all set up, though it's currently in the formal living room because we don't really know where else to put it.  But it's hard to imagine him actually being here.  I wonder all the time how the cats are going to react.  I wonder how sleep deprived we'll actually be.  I wonder how long it's going to take Chad to get used to changing a diaper (he's never changed one before!).  I wonder if our little man is going to be a quiet little guy or if he's going to be a world-class screamer.  So many things to think about!  And (hopefully) only 3 weeks or less left!!

Oh, and in case you're wondering, we're probably not going to call anyone while I'm in labor.  It's not like anyone is coming up to the hospital to visit while I'm there, so you'll all probably just wait to hear until after our son is here.  And frankly, we'll call my parents and Chad's parents - they will be responsible for disseminating the information from there.  Okay, I think that's a pretty fair recap for the last week (or so).  Mostly, it's jumbled and garbled just like my mind lately.  Enjoy!

Maybe it's the hormones...

But I can't believe how selfish some people are being.  I'm on babycenter.com's community boards and I got involved in this one conversation thread on changing hospital visitors policies, due to H1N1.  Most hospitals in area with infection are changing their policies to limiting adult visitors and eliminating any visitors under 12 (or even 18 in some cases).  There are all these women on this board saying that the hospital can get over it because they are bringing their kids in to see their new brother or sister.  They're saying that the hospital should just trust that parents have taught their kids good hygiene.  W T F?!  Are you kidding me?  I can't believe how selfish these women are being!!!  Yes, I understand you want your kids to be part of this and to meet their new sibling, but seriously?  You're going to risk my kid's health because you're a stupid Witch?!  We already have a chance that our son is going to have to spend time in the NICU, but I swear to God, if some pushy, dumb WITCH causes my son to get sick because she demands that her kid be allowed up to the MBU, I'm going to go Witch-slap her.  I'm not even joking.  If some selfish woman causes my son to have to stay at the hospital when I'm being discharged, I'm going to lose my freaking mind.

I really hope that Memorial enforces this with an iron fist.  The last thing I want to hear when I'm up in MBU is going to be someone else's snot-nosed brat screaming at the top of their lungs and coughing and smearing snot everywhere.  Just leave your little one at home and deal.  You're not special.  You don't get to break the rules just because you're you.  ARGH!!  This is what's wrong with society today.  This is why I wind up with students in my classroom who don't think the rules apply to them - because they learn from their parents at an early age that rules are for other people, but never for them.  QUIT RUINING SOCIETY YOU SELFISH WITCHES!!!

Doctors' Appointments and IDIOTS

So today I had my doctors' appointments (more to come on the idiots).  Munchkin is head down, which is a good thing because it seems like lately, every night, he moves down into my pelvis, only to return in the morning to kicking me in the ribs.  I'm not joking - I feel like a little kid who has to pee.  You know the kids I'm talking about.  They stick their hand between their legs, cross their legs, and proceed to do the pee-pee dance.  That's exactly how I feel every night.  And it's not like I've been standing all evening when this happens.  I'm usually hanging out on the couch with my feet up!  Oh, and I may have reconsidered my stance on the epidural - considering that I've had a few actual painful contractions in the last couple of days.  Sure, I've been feeling the Braxton-Hicks, but last night I had two that were eye-opening.  LOL  So anyway, I brought these two things up to the midwife during my OB check today, and she says, "Good."  Good??  Excuse me?  Good??  I feel like I'm literally going to sit on my son's head.  Oh well, I guess, thinking rationally, or as rational as my pregnant brain will let me be, it is a good thing because my body is doing what its supposed to, but DUDE.  IT'S SOOO WEIRD.  Anyway, things are still looking good on the ultrasound (CCAM is still present but does not appear to be growing), and Munchkin is starting to fatten up nicely.  Hahahaha.  Little chunky monkey.  I can't wait to see him!!  Well, see him outside of my stomach and not on an ultrasound screen.

If you look closely in this one, you can see that he's sticking his tongue out just a little bit.  :)

Okay, those are my warm fuzzies.  :)  Now, onto the idiots.

Idiot #1: The hospital valets.  I had to wait 10 minutes in line behind a ton of cars; I tried to pull up and park it so that I could get out and get inside to my appointment.  I get the car parked, and turn it off.  Then this dumb blonde, after watching me sit in my car and then finally pull up and park it, comes over to me and asks me to move my car.  Uhm, hi.  YOU COULDN'T HAVE ASKED ME THAT BEFORE I MANEUVERED MYSELF OVER HERE????  ARGH!
Idiot #2: An entire family in the MFM waiting room.  I come out to sit in the waiting room after my ultrasound while they prep the room for my non-stress test.  The waiting room is full at this point, with the exception of two chairs.  This entire STUPID family is spread around the waiting room, talking to each other.  I had to sit next to the slow adult who kept exclaiming loudly that he wanted spaghetti and next to the matriarch who turned the tv to Roseanne.  Really?  Ew.  I felt like I needed to wash.
Idiot #3: A woman in the waiting area talking loudly enough on her cell phone for the people of Cuba to hear her.  Oh, and she cut in line, in front of me, to turn in her valet ticket.  She also STOOD in front of perfectly empty seats to sit in in the waiting area.  She stood there blocking seats that people, like me, could have sat in while waiting.  I had to listen to that stupid woman talking on her cell phone, excuse me, I meant YELLING on her cell phone, for 15 minutes while I waited for my car.  She was talking about how her husband had just gotten orders for here at Fort Carson (they must have just PCSd here) and how if he went to one unit he would be leaving for Afghanistan in a week but if he went to another he would be leaving for Afghanistan in a year.  And God help me for it, but I hoped that her husband was leaving for Afghanistan next week.  I know that's terrible of me.  But I was THISCLOSE to shoving her cell phone down her throat.

I swear, I can pinpoint the decline of American society on politicians.  You see, politicians mistakenly see idiots as an endangered species which needs to be protected by legislation.  Take, for instance, seat belt laws.  What is the point of seatbelt laws?  Why, to save lives, you answer.  Yes.  But really, as a literate and learned adult, do you really need a LAW to tell you that you should wear your seatbelt?  Probably not.  However, Bucktooth Billy does need a seatbelt law to tell him to buckle up.  So he puts his seatbelt on when he climbs behind the wheel of his '91 Ford pickup, drunk.  He crashes into a tree on his way home from the local bar, harming no one.  Since he was wearing his seatbelt, he didn't go flying through the windshield and crack his head open, killing himself.  Now, he's a death-defying hero, and, well, Sally Jean can't help but adore him for being a "hero" so Bucktooth Billy knocks her up, thus perpetuating a vicious cycle of stupidity.  See what I mean?  These people are everywhere you look.  We literate and learned adults would be much better off without all of these freaking idiots walking around.  I urge you - survey your life and see how many people you think would still be alive if it weren't for Idiot-saving laws and norms in society.

Sorry, that's my rant against idiots.  As a more pleasant parting thought, I just wanted to show you proof that my little furry boy, Calvin, is trying to cram in some last-minute quality time with his "Momma".  It's almost like he knows his world is going to be turned upside-down inside of a month.

My poor Pooh Bear.  I think he's really going to miss being a Momma's Boy when the Munchkin makes his debut.  Hopefully  he adjusts well and doesn't hate me afterward.

LIES!!

I just saw a lipstick ad for Colorsensational (I think it was that one).  And the colors look soo beautiful and the lipstick looks so smooth, and I'm ALMOST tempted to go buy some (I have a thing for lip products).  But then I think, it's lipstick.  No matter what kind of honey you put in it, it's still going to DRY AS A DESERT!  But this commercial - it's taunting me, you guys.  You don't even understand.  My lips are so dry and the lips in the commercial look so moisturized!  I have to fight temptation.  I wish I could get a little  sample size.  But I want to buy some.  Stupid ad people.  I don't even like lipstick.  It's always waxy and feels good at first but then feels like someone taped toilet paper over your lips.  GAH!!  Must....stay....strong!

Anyone else see ads for things they know they don't like but are tempted by anyway?

Where's My Receipt?

So, I've read all about the nesting instinct going into overdrive.  I believe mine is broken or defective.  Or maybe I'm simply too tired.  Sure, there's lots I want to get done around the house, but I'm having a Terrible Time trying to find the energy to get it all done!  I would totally exchange my nesting instinct for a new one.  LOL

Meanwhile, I recently started commenting and reading in the babycenter.com community.  Wow.  I think that's almost as big a problem for me as facebook!  Maybe I just have a total internet addiction.  Of course, it is an inexpensive way to connect with other people, and considering the weather lately, it's way safer than driving (still have icy snow on the ground here).

My cousin has recently started batting around the idea of coming to visit after Munchkin is born to help out with the baby and just give me some support here.  Frankly, I'm completely Ecstatic about this.  I'd get to see my two baby cousins (her sons) and she may even bring another one of our cousins with her.  So I would get to spend some quality time with my family (who I miss dreadfully right now) and get some help with the boy-o.  My mother-in-law also asked today if they (she and my FIL) could come out for the week of Christmas (duh! Of course!), then she mentioned how she might come out a week before that just to spend some time with me and the baby (she also wants to take us shopping to buy more stuff for him - she LOVES to shop), so that would be awesome as well.  I love my MIL and get along with her really well.

So, again, I guess this is another one of those mysterious ways - I've been feeling so alone lately and now I have people who are asking to come help out after the baby is born.  I am truly lucky to be so loved by my family and friends!

The Blame Game?

Going back and reading over some of my previous posts, as well as having more than enough time to myself to think, I'm trying to figure out what I did to put myself in my current isolated situation.  Sure, I still have my friends and family back home, and I still have Chad, who is wonderful.  But when I moved out here, I knew no one.  When Chad came home from Iraq the first time, I started to make friends who understood (i.e. other wives of the guys on his team).  I also made friends at work.

We went out together, went to each other's houses.  We emailed, texted, facebooked, etc.  Then I got pregnant!  I was so excited.  A couple of my friends were pregnant at the same time, though they've already delivered and I thought to myself: Awesome!  I have friends who are traveling this road right ahead of me; this is going to be great.

I made plans to travel back to Michigan to visit friends and family at the end of June/beginning of July.  And suddenly, when I came home, it was like I was a leper.  Right about this same time, we received the prospective diagnosis (which was later confirmed) that our son may have a CCAM (if you've been reading a long, this is no longer may-he does).  I called some of my friends and left messages for them.  No return calls.  I texted them - no response.  I commented on some of their posts on facebook and emailed them.  Most usually, I got the same response - none.  Now, I know that sounds like I was being a crazy-stalker friend - I wasn't.  These are all over the space of the last few months.  I understand that people get busy.  But so busy that you can't reply to an email or facebook message or text in 1 to 3 months' time?  Don't think so.

So now I find myself trying to figure out what to do.  I've joined some mom's groups online, but most of the women who post there seem kind of neurotic and not really like the kind of people I'd like to have knowing where I live or what my cellphone # is.  Some of them only meet at member's houses - again, not quite ready for that.  One article I was reading on babycenter.com suggested meeting moms at playgrounds - great, when my son's able to play on playgrounds.  Meanwhile, I'm just supposed to what?  Wallow in self-pity and loneliness?  Don't get me wrong - Chad is great at listening and talking to me, but I'm alone all day at the house.  And he does occasionally have to go away for work trips - those are usually so frenetically paced that he has time for a quick chat at the end of the day.

I just don't understand what, if anything, I did wrong.  I don't know why suddenly, these women who I thought were my friends, decided that they had enough friends and that those numbers didn't need to include me.  It's not even the fact that some of these women have infants - they still make time for other girlfriends.  I would understand if they were simply consumed by caring for their newborn, I promise.  But more and more it just seems like no one makes time for me.  I spend more time with Chad's friends now than I do with mine.  Unless, of course, you count the cats as my friends.  Then, since I'm at home all day, I obviously spend the most amount of time with them.

I don't know.  Maybe they just didn't like me all that much to begin with.  Maybe they just don't know what to say since the CCAM diagnosis so they say nothing at all.  I really don't know.  But I do know that this really, really sucks.

Quick Vent

I just watched an episode of A Baby Story on TLC and I wanted to reach through the tv and strangle this woman.  It was the mom-to-be's mother.  The woman was having her second child via induction and her mother and in-laws were walking up to the room and her mother was freaking out about not being able to find the L&D room (they were like 10 feet down the hall).  That was annoyance #1.  Then she gets into the room and gets all emotional because she simply sees her daughter lying in the bed.  It wasn't even a dramatic induction - she was only at like 2 cm.  Then they decided to do a c-section because the baby didn't want to be induced and the mother sat in the waiting area and all she could talk about was how she wanted to know what was happening and she didn't like this because she didn't know what was going on.  Seriously lady, SHUT UP!

Sorry - got really annoyed and had to share.  LOL

HOLY COW!!

Totally unbelieveable!  I was watching an episode of Mystery Diagnosis this evening that I had DVR'd earlier this week.  The very first case on there was about a little boy, a toddler, who had severe trouble breathing.  It turns out he had a CCAM!!  How weird is that?  I just couldn't believe it when they got to the part where they reveal the diagnosis.  I about choked on the Gatorade I was drinking.  Crazy, insane coincidence.  Of course, this little boy didn't have the benefit of having been diagnosed en utero.  He started having breathing issues when he was about 4 mos. old and the pediatrician took an x-ray which showed an air pocket but otherwise nothing.  She continued to diagnose him with respiratory infections every two weeks for the next 4 months or so.  Then they decided that he must have asthma, so the prescription was nebulizer treatments which helped for a while, but soon those stopped working too.  They finally had to take him to the ER one night and the doctor took more xrays and wound up sending those to a pediatric surgeon for another consult.  He scheduled a CT scan and discovered it was a CCAM.  Watching that ordeal and seeing those parents talk about how terrifying it was not knowing what was wrong with their son and why he couldn't breathe just makes me infinitely grateful that our son's CCAM was diagnosed en utero and will be closely monitored.  That poor couple must have been terrified.  So I find myself, tonight, giving thanks that we were lucky enough to have doctors who were cautious and wanted to have a second look when the bright spot first showed up on the 20 w ultrasound. That they then sent me to Maternal Fetal Medicine to see a perinatalogist to confirm the diagnosis.  That they then transferred my care to ensure that IF our son needs to go to the NICU after birth that we are right there next to one of the best NICUs in the state.  That the doctors I see at MFM are so vigilant in monitoring our son that my file there (mind you, I've only been going there since the beginning of September) is housed in a three-ring binder.  And I already know what I'm going to say when it comes to my turn on Thanksgiving to state what I'm thankful for: I'm thankful for today's medical advances that will prevent Chad and I from experiencing abject terror if our son's breathing were to be so critical because no one had caught this CCAM while our son was still growing in the womb.

Meanwhile, I had my triple-threat appointment on Tuesday (I know, I'm just now writing, sorry!): ultrasound, non-stress test, and OB check.  The sonographer was actually able to find the CCAM again (read: the CCAM was never gone, it was just not being found easily on the ultrasound) - this sonographer cranked some setting waaay up (he said that essentially this made it like an MRI or something like that) and he was able to find it.  It hasn't grown (still the same size it was when it was found), so that's good.  The non-stress test went well, and my blood pressure, which had read high the last few times, was finally back down where it should be.  My OB check also went well (at the time I was 35 w 1 d and I measured 35.5 w, so basically right on track), and fun of all fun, since it was my first OB check at MFM I had to have a fun pelvic.  Oh joy.  But everything is good to go (no effacement or dilation yet).  I've recently started to feel the random Braxton Hicks contractions and that's, well, weird.  Also, hooray for me, I've gained 15 lbs. throughout the pregnancy (right within my range of acceptable weight gain).  I'm super excited about this!

Finally, I toured the Birth Center at Memorial today - it's really nice!  Large labor and delivery rooms as well as large rooms in the Mother/Baby Unit.  It was really comforting to get a look at where we'll be spending a few days in just a few very short weeks (please God!).  There's free wi-fi in both the birth center and the mother/baby unit and cell phones are allowed (notification phone calls will be as follows: My parents and Chad's parents - if you'd like notification, you'll have to talk to them about who they contact after they get the call; or you can wait for the facebook status update, lol).  Also, since none of you know the name yet, we'll be posting as soon as we remember/get around to it.  Okay, this seems pretty disjointed to me now, so I'm going to end my entry here before I wind up talking about completely irrelevant topics.

Photo-riffic!

So, living so far away from family and friends, I know that there is going to be great demand for photos - lots and lots of photos!  I recently decided how I wanted to solve this dilemma: I started a photobucket account.

I chose photobucket because you can choose photos from the site that you like and order them to be printed at your local Target.  Then you would go to your Target store's photo department and pick them up just like regular photos.  This will be especially helpful for us to get some pictures to our not-so-computer-savvy relatives.  It also means that you don't need to have a photo printer to have nice photos of our little boy!  Obviously, there aren't any photos uploaded right now - those will come when the baby does.  But I will definitely pass along the information to the photo albums once we start posting some up there.  :)

I'm Totally Unoriginal - And I'm Okay With That!

First, I was reading archived copies of one of my favorite blogs and I found the MOST HILARIOUS entry I have read yet.  Please, please, go read it.  My stomach is killing me - I feel like I did 1000 crunches I was laughing so hard.  And the pictures!

Anyway, I like the format, so you may see it start to appear here randomly, especially considering that I've already done one post in a similar format.  Maybe I will experiment with it here.  Ok, official first run of the Quick Takes post format...

ONE: Pregnancy hormones suck.  I woke up in a good mood this morning (despite the fact that my alarm went off at 7:15 am so I could take out the damn trash and recycling).  It was sunny out, it was pretty balmy, considering that it was foggy as can be just east of where our house is, and the Peak looked awesome.  This afternoon, I was tired.  Early this evening I was Depressed.  Then, I read through some blog entries (see above, re: hilarious post), and now my stomach hurts from laughing so hard and I keep chuckling to myself.  Also, I just talked to Chad and so I'm in excellent spirits.  But I still think pregnancy hormones suck.

TWO: I want to know why, when I sit in the SAME EXACT PLACE, my cell phone service suddenly switches towers so I drop a call mid-sentence FOR NO REASON.  It's not like I was walking around my house and went down into the basement and was surrounded by concrete so my cell service suddenly dropped to like 1/4 bars.  I mean I was sitting in my bedroom talking to Jarvi on Saturday with four full bars of 3G service and then the call dropped and I looked and I only had 1 bar of E service.  WTF universe?!

THREE: Why is it that the creepiest people in the mall are those skincare-product people?  They always chase you around wanting to squirt lotion on you.  Do I look all dry and patchy??  (Wait, don't answer that.  Because of the aforementioned pregnancy hormones, I actually am currently dry and patchy.  But at least be polite and don't call attention publicly to my shame, thankyouverymuch!)  And really, that's like buying people scented bath products for other people.  Unless you know that I really like the Moonlight Path scent line or the Lavender Chamomile aromatherapy line from Bath and Body Works, please don't buy me bath products.  Unless, of course, you're trying to tell me I have B.O.  In which case, please be a Good Friend and pull me aside privately to tell me.  Otherwise, you're just trying to mask B.O. with perfume, which I found to be a vast problem in large European city crowds.  Also, P.S., in case you're just trying to be nice and buying me some bubble bath (which I wouldn't take as a "You have B.O." hint, because frankly you would be encouraging my mental health), please don't do so unless you remember that ANYTHING with VANILLA scent in it will make me violently ill.  Seriously.  I had a student in my first year teaching who wore vanilla perfume and I had to get another teacher to watch my room so I could go throw up.  Not kidding.

FOUR: Twitter.  I do not understand Twitter.  At all.  I looked it up on Wikipedia.  Go ahead and laugh at me, Internet.  I do not understand.  I update my status on Facebook.  Do I really need to tweet too?

FIVE: **Disclaimer** This is my personal opinion.  I think Jon and Kate Gosselin are terrible.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's super organized, etc.  But can I just say that I wasn't really surprised when he started stepping out with other women.  Have you ever watched an epidsode of that show?  Every time they were sitting on that little couch, she was ridiculing and belittling him.  Frankly, he lasted longer than a lot of other people would have.  Does that excuse his current douchey behavior?  Absolutely not.  I'm just saying, it takes two....

SIX: Those Duggars are crazy.  Eighteen children?!  Holy canoli.  Who would want to birth 18 kids?  Obviously, Michelle Duggar.  But what motivates them to keep procreating?  Seriously?  Who would even have the energy to procreate at the end of the day with that many kids running around.  Sure, they just married the oldest one off, but still.  Wouldn't you be sick of changing diapers after 21 years?  Twenty-one years' worth of diapers.  Holy crap.  Pun intended.

SEVEN: My neighbors are idiots.  Not necessarily the people on my immediate cul-de-sac, but there are definitely some idiots in the neighborhood.  We have an abundance of wildlife here.  Coyotes, foxes, racoons, rabbits, mule deer, bear.  BEAR.  Not to mention the vermin like mice, chipmunks, etc.  SOMEONE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD IS FEEDING THEM!  They do not need your help.  How many dead animals I have seen on the road right outside the neighborhood I can't even begin to tell you. These idiots are messing with Darwinism.  If the damn animals aren't smart enough to scrounge in the trash cans in the 45 minutes they are out and full before the garbage man comes, then so be it.  They're not cute - they're destructive.  They poop in my yard!  There is a reason I don't have a dog - I don't like having to walk around my yard to scoop the makings of some animal.  It's bad enough having to scoop the makings of the cats from the litter box (shut up RIGHT NOW about toxoplasmosis.  I don't want to freaking hear it!!).  They eat through the camp chairs we have on the back patio to sit on while the kitties wander around the yard eating grass.  They pee on the back door!  They get trapped in the backyard when the gate doesn't lock properly and I'm scared completely skinless to try to fix the problem because I do not see deer as Bambi - they are Wild Animals and are not cute and harmless (Bambi's mom would tear you a new one if she felt threatened).  If I go out into the yard and try to prop the gate open, I risk being hooved to death by an enraged and frightened deer or startling the deer who then destroys our lovely CUSTOM fence which would be impossible to replace (and no, we couldn't replace the fence with vinyl because our HOA voted that down in May).

EIGHT: Grammar.  Seriously?  There is a difference between your and you're.  There is also a difference between there, their, and they're.  Same with for, four, fore, and to, two, and too.  None of these are interchangeable.  Please people, take the time to figure it out.  I will forgive you the usage of who/whom.  That one is slightly more complicated.  But for the love of God, I may scream the next time I read someone using you're (you are) in place of your (possessive).  GAH!!!

A few things on my mind today.  First, I go in for another non-stress test today - yay!  That's kind of sarcastic - I have these tests twice a week now from here until the beginning of November.  I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that I don't go so far past my due date (42 weeks gestation - someone will be dying at my hands if I have to go that far).  I'm so uncomfortable as it is right now, just the thought of having to go two more weeks makes me want to tear my hair out and run screaming down the hall.  So yeah.  Could be cause for a descent into madness.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Okay, next on my mental docket: an epidural.  I was very adamant that I did NOT want an epidural, but I've been watching an awful lot of A Baby Story on TLC and after talking to the doctor on Tuesday and having all my questions answered, I'm not really so scared of it anymore.  More or less, I'm more comfortably operating on the "I'll try it natural first but leave my options open to an epidural".  However, I'm kind of starting to think about what time of day I go into labor too - for instance, if I'm exhausted and it's been a long day and then I go into labor, I may go for the epidural a lot sooner than I may have originally.  I don't know.  Just at this point, I'm not as opposed to it as I was before.  That's all I'm saying.

Okay, this one is a rant about facebook.  I recently accepted a friend request from someone I went to high school with.  I didn't really know the kid - it was more like we had some of the same friends.  Well, this kid is the HEIGHT of annoyance.  He's still a flipping idiot, just like he was in high school, except now he feels like he can actually talk to me.  I have no idea what gave him that impression, but there you have it.  So a little while ago, I had what I like to term My Own Personal Nuclear Meltdown.  I was posting status updates befitting my emotional state on facebook, and this kid, he has the nerve to comment that maybe I should meet with him while he's in GR that weekend to discuss pharmaceutical options for improving my quality of life.  I almost reached through my computer to choke him.  A) I don't live in GR anymore, thankyouverymuch.  B) I'm pregnant.  C) PEOPLE HAVE BAD DAYS.  That does not mean they need to be medicated.  It's a part of life.  A few days later, one of my friends who has four kids (she also went to my high school) was also having a bad day and he said much the same thing to her.  Seriously, this guy works from some pharmaceutical company and is obviously COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS.  Anyway, the straw that broke my back yesterday: I posted a link to the breast cancer site on facebook and mentioned that it was a free option for those who wanted to support breast cancer awareness and research.  He opened a chat window with me to suggest that I try his mother's juice company because it supports breast cancer research.  I told him that I wasn't interested as I have plenty of avenues on my own to support breast cancer awareness and research.  I signed off of facebook and stewed about his impertinence and then I signed back into facebook, un-friended him, and then blocked him.  I couldn't stand it anymore.  I'm angry all over again just thinking about it.  WHAT AN IDIOT!  But taking such a small childish step really did make me feel better yesterday, lol.

Finally - the doctor's appointment yesterday.  It was a consultation with the pediatric surgeon who will be doing the surgery to remove the cyst, provided that it is still present after birth.  We discussed questions and outcomes and whatnot.  The cyst is a type 1, meaning that it is made up of large nodules (easiest to detect, remove, etc.), rather than type 2 (many small cysts), or type 3 (different sizes and composition).  So this is good (if you can call having something wrong "good".  It's like when people try to comfort my cousin, who was diagnosed this past spring with thyroid cancer, that at least she has a good kind of cancer.  If you are a person who says things like this, don't be surprised if someone hits you.  This doesn't make someone feel better - in fact, it makes me want to stab you.  Don't say I didn't warn you.).  He said that when the baby is born, they will do an Xray to determine the presence/prominence of the cyst.  From current indications, he predicts that they won't be able to see the cyst on this X-ray (good).  At that point, we will go about our business as usual and let Munchkin grow for about 6 months to a year before performing a CT scan. That will serve to give us a better picture - if the cyst isn't visible then, we will leave it at that.  If the cyst is visible on the CT, we will discuss surgery options.  He said that surgery, should it be required, will mean the removal of a small portion of lung.  This shouldn't impact Munchkin's ability to participate in athletic pursuits later in life, as long as he listens to his body (i.e. just like someone with asthma - listen to body cues, take it easy if he needs to), but that there is no reason he wouldn't be able to lead an active life.

All right, I do believe that is all for now.  So, consider yourself updated.  :)

A Brief Pink Post

In honor of the first day of October, and the beginning of Breast Cancer Awareness month, I'm just going to post real quick (I have a consult with the pediatric surgeon later, so I'll be posting again when I'm back from that).

This month, several stores and companies will be promoting their Pink products.  My personal viewpoint is that if you were going to buy the product anyway, purchase the pink version - every little bit helps.  However, I don't think you need to break your bank buying products you don't really need/want.  But, I do have a super easy solution for those of you who are strapped in today's economy.  If you visit the Breast Cancer Site and click (that's it, no buying, no giving out your email, no signing a petition), you help contribute to making free mammograms available to women in need.  There are also great links to Pink Products should you be in the market for it, as well as other free ways in which to help promote breast cancer research and awareness.

I'll Leave the Clean-up to People Who Get Paid for That, ThankYouVeryMuch

First, let me state that I totally respect everyone else's labor decisions.  I don't know what's right for you, only for myself, and I'm pretty sure that my own notions will change once I find myself in the thick of it.

Having said that, respecting others' decisions does not mean that I understand them.  For instance: Homebirthing.  Really?  Labor is Messy.  Are you kidding me?  I can understand desiring the comfort of your own home and no nurse coming in every 20 minutes to poke you.  BUT having to clean up the mess in your own home?  NO THANKS.  I would much rather leak all over the hospital, the hospital's bed, the hospital's gowns, the hospital's towels, etc.  I would also much rather, should I accidentally "make" while pushing, do so on the hospital's floor.  I already have to clean up "makings" from the cats and will soon be cleaning up the "makings" of a Little Baby Human.  But all of the fluid and the blood, and let's not forget the after birth - no thanks.  I'll let people who GET PAID take care of all of those things.

Something else I don't get: elective cesareans.  Seriously?  I would never CHOOSE to have my entire abdomen sliced open from hip to hip.  Sure, you don't have to go through labor, but I have NOT heard good things about the recovery process.  No thanks.  I'd rather take the pushing and ring of fire and all that other stuff (in a HOSPITAL or birth center) than to be almost completely cut in half.  Granted, an emergency cesarean = totally different story.  Even a cesarean after having previously had a cesarean.  But I've read studies on women who choose to have a cesarean because they think it is better for the human body.  Really?  Let's weigh the evidence here, shall we?  A Recent Study which says that cesareans are better for women's bodies or, I don't know, Millenia of Evolution and Human Reproduction.  Gee, which would be more reliable?  Now, I'm not discounting science and medical research.  But going completely against centuries of human survival just sounds completely asinine.  The human body has evolved all kinds of coping mechanisms to deliver a child.

Coping Mechanism #1: the hormones coursing through my body that currently make me feel like I'm a turkey on Thanksgiving day and someone is currently trying to REMOVE MY THIGH by WRENCHING it violently from the socket.  It also makes all of my other joints loose, which means that I woke up this morning with a shoulder that felt like it was completely separated from the rest of my body.  This will make my hips separate enough to pass a Little Baby Human through there.

Coping Mechanism #2: all of my internal organs migrate.  I can't walk up the four stairs from the family room to the kitchen without huffing and puffing.  This also means that my digestive tract is pinched - 'nough said on that front.

Coping Mechanism #3: in order to accommodate the growing Little Baby Human inside me, my digestive tract has slowed down to allow for greater absorption of nutrients from the foods I eat.  Again - 'nough said on that front.

There are numerous others, but frankly, I'm tired now.  LOL  Again.  So I'm going to pick the kitty up and make her take a nap with me while I continue growing this Little Baby Human.  And praying that there's only six weeks left, instead of eight.  And frankly, I have two of the cutest cats ever.  See for yourself.

 

Unfortunate Circumstances

I was reading my email this morning when I saw a headline (gotta love Yahoo! News).  First, read this, then continue reading here.

I'm originally from MI.  I had a great experience growing up there.  My family still lives there.  Will I ever move back there?  Realistically - no.  (Sorry Mom.)  The state is dying - property values have fallen, jobs are disappearing, crime is ridiculous.  It has one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation.  When we move back home, it will be more like moving back to the Great Lakes region (i.e. Most likely the Chicago area).  Anyway, so things are really tight in Michigan for a lot of families.  So some woman gets a bee in her bonnet about her neighbor BEING A GOOD SAMARITAN and making sure that some local kids are safe while they wait to catch the bus.  But that's not the worst - the worst is that the state has a law, obviously meant to protect children, which is being sorely misapplied in this case.  It's just sad, and once I read it online, I had to share it here.  Feel free to comment along here at the bottom - I'm interested in your viewpoints!

Quick Thoughts Because I Can

So, following are a few quick thoughts I had since I posted earlier....

• This is my absolute favorite time of year - I LOVE fall, and I consider this to be the start of the Holiday Season (yes, completely deserving of capitalization). Just think, Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then New Year's. There's one a month! And they're so much fun! Also, we have our anniversary in there (which Chad will actually be home for this year!), as well as a baby being born somewhere in there as well!! :) Double Smiles :D :D
• **Bodily Fluids/Functions Disclaimer** Pregnancy = incontinence. Sneezing, coughing, laughing - all currently dangerous activities for 34 w prego me. Not fun.
• This is the best thing I've read about post-partum EVER.
• I've found where to continue following one of my newest and most favorite bloggers! Seriously, she is HILARIOUS!
• Chad's mom sent us a package today (remember, he went to MI for his grandfather's funeral). In it: a pair of his jeans, a pair of his boxers, one of his t-shirts, three baby outfits, a baseball from a Brewer's game, and two Christmas ornaments. MOST RANDOM PACKAGE EVER. She also didn't use flat-rate shipping, so the box had a bazillion stamps on it. LOL
• I am currently addicted to Farmville and Sorority Life on Facebook. Yes, yes, I know!
• I got upset at Best Buy the other day because they have the Animal Crossing: City Folk book saran-wrapped. Again: yes, yes, I know!

That's all. Just thought I'd share. :)

And The Race Is On... Sort Of.

Well, 6 weeks left. Or possibly 8 (they would let me go all the way to 42 weeks as long as the fluid was still good and the placenta was working the way it should). I really don't want to go almost all the way to Thanksgiving! It kind of makes me want to gag. LOL

This morning I had three appointments. Yes, three. I had my growth ultrasound (he's in the 25th percentile (which is good but low because the femur is measuring small, which doesn't mean anything bad) and he's weighing 4 lbs. 14 oz.), my periconsult (read: meeting with doctor to ask questions and talk about OB history), and my MOD-BPP/NST/AFI (read: hook me up to monitors to chart the baby's heartrate and movements, check the level of amniotic fluid, get my blood pressure, etc.). The ultrasound went really well, the doctor answered lots of my questions (see below for that info), and being hooked up went well too.

In the NST (non-stress test), they had me hooked up to the monitors (if you've ever seen A Baby Story on TLC, when the mother is in labor and they have those elastic bands holding the two round monitors on the mother's stomach), with a blood pressure cuff on my left arm and a "trigger" button in my right hand to click every time he moved. It was really kind of cool. His little heart was thump-thump-thumping along, and then she said that they needed to see two plateaus in heartrate and then return to baseline. In order to get his heartrate to plateau, they took this tool that vibrates and held it against my abdomen. Shortly after that, HE WENT NUTS! His heartrate went up to like 170 and he was moving like crazy. She was amazed at how much he was moving, but it happened to also coincide with the time I usually eat breakfast, so I think that probably had something to do with it too. It also explains why when Hobbes lays curled around my stomach on my lap and purrs (she purrs LOUD) that he will start to kick. I mentioned this to the nurse and she said that he probably responds to the sound of her purring. How crazy is that?!

Anyway, meeting with the doctor this morning was great. She answered all of my questions and actually told me that they're pretty excited to have me there because I'm one of the healthiest mothers/pregnancies they have there! So she said it would be great because they prefer to have a midwife-like experience but that most of the pregnancies have complications that preclude that kind of experience. She also explained that they don't foresee any complications ahead of time, ergo I should have a normal delivery. She said that they wouldn't induce me until 42 weeks unless the fluid has decreased or other such occurrence which would necessitate induction before then. She explained that they like to let the pregnancies in their practice go until the mothers progress into spontaneous labor, which is cool. She also explained that they don't foresee any need for a c-section, unless of course, it is a rough labor. So, it was nice to have those questions answered. I will have a standard stay of two days (provided there are no complications), etc. All good things to know. And they are OK with Chad helping to catch the baby and cut the cord, provided that is what he still wants when the time comes.

Well, I think that's about all I've got as regards the latest info from the doctor's visit today. Stay tuned for more. :)

UPDATE: So my mom let me know that I hadn't written anything about the CCAM - it is still there, but it is not getting any bigger.  So now you know.  :)

And yet, it'll all work out in the end, just like it always does.

So, I was reading more of one of my favorite blogs this weekend, and I came across a post that was inspired by another Blogspot blog. The point is to consider your life as it was one year ago today and as it will be one year from now. I might do this a few more times in future as I really dig this idea. I'll probably utilize it as a writing activity when I go back to teaching too! :)

So, one year ago today, I was SWAMPED! I was a second-year teacher (which was almost harder than the first) at Sierra. Now, usually, this just means that you feel a little more comfortable in developing your routine. But since my mentor had left to take an AP job out at Falcon, I found myself moved (albeit by my own volition) into a position of ensuring curriculum alignment both within the department and across the district. This was not any official position, but it needed to be done and as I was the most comfortable and most knowledgeable (yes, as a second-year) teacher as regards the Spanish curriculum. Therefore, in district-wide collaboration meetings, I was setting forth pacing schedules and ensuring that curriculum maps were being utilized. I was also the one who spent the time to familiarize our two new department members with plethora of supplementary materials that comes with this series (it's practically astronomical, let me assure you!). I was also serving as advisor for the sophomore class, which included meeting after-school every Friday afternoon for SGA meetings. Lastly, I was tracking the libero position statistics for the volleyball team home games. This made for long days and evenings, but thankfully, it made the time fly by. Chad was deployed at this point, so it was just me and the cats, so I figured what was the point in coming home right after work everyday to just sit in the apartment and twiddle my thumbs.

Personally, Chad and I had started discussing having kids, so I had gone off birth control (I'd been on birth control for like 10 years, so I figured it would take forever to get out of my system and for my regular body systems to take back over).

One year from now, we're going to have a 10-month-old son! I'm so excited by this I can hardly stand myself. I mean, sure, it's scary - we're going to be COMPLETELY responsible for the health and well-being of a little baby human! But the more I read about the personality of children as it develops and all of the milestones that they hit, the more excited I get. I'll probably be back at work by then, which is a double-edged sword. I miss my students and I miss teaching, but at the same time, I don't really want my son to grow up in front of someone else, you know? It's currently something that Chad and I are still discussing, but I guess that it all depends on where we are next year. We'll still be working on the house - we've got lots of plans for the yard and for the interior as well, like replacing all of the interior doors, closets, knobs, and woodwork. As for outside, we want to get rid of all of the lava rock (EW!), pull out the rail-road ties that a previous owner has utilized to terrace the backyard and replace them will probably bricks. We also want to tear up and widen the driveway and tear up and re-pour the back patio, making a larger sitting area. I'm sure at that point we'll be discussing Baby #2 - i.e. when we should think about trying for Baby #2. We've started talking about spacing and we want our kids to be close in age. As we're both only children, we definitely know we want to have at least two.

I can still hardly believe that I'm going to be a mother. A MOTHER! Then I start worrying about trying to strike a balance that will make my kids independent but not too independent. I want to be there for them without smothering them. Will know when to step in and when to sit back? It's all so far away, and yet it's not too far away. Currently, I've only got six weeks left in this pregnancy. I'm really thankful for that right now because the nausea seems to be rearing its ugly head again and I'm so uncomfortable that when I need to change position during the middle of the night, I literally need to wake up, sit up, and heave myself over to my other side. I'm waking up multiple times to go to the bathroom - that's probably the most frustrating as I never used to wake up in the middle of the night before. I feel like I spent waaaay too long in first position in dance class. That's about as close a description as I can muster for those of you who aren't already in the know.

A Freaking Rainbow!!

They say that when it rains, it pours. Well, if you've been reading along, Monday it poured! Between insurance, the doctor's office/appointments, and the Lamaze class, it totally cued a meltdown (i.e. read this for a refresher or this).

But over the course of this week, has it ever turned around! Just more proof that Jarvi was right when I was talking to her, if only I could've just calmed down enough to take that advice to heart. :)

Let's go back to Wednesday and I'll recap quick. Wednesday I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound (again); all is well my friends - the CCAM continues to become more difficult to view each time we go back. Mind you, it is not shrinking - but it is not getting bigger or more aggressive. Whew! Then, I spoke to them about my appointments. Got that all fixed too - btw they weren't happy when they realized (::cough:: I pointed out) that it's been five weeks since my last prenatal appointment (at Evans) and that I wasn't scheduled for one with them until another three weeks from now. Yes, this is what I was complaining about in my email to you all, people! But, they remedied that. They also moved up my periconsult so I have a chance to ask questions of the doctors instead of just seeing them real quick after an ultrasound. Score! My appointments are now all in order and sooner than they had been, thank God, so that way I'm not freaking out about that.

As the for the Lamaze class being canceled, well, we got a DVD to cover that, which I've already mentioned in previous posts. It's not ideal, but it's better than nothing.

And lastly, the last piece of puzzle, it fell into place today. I got a phone call this morning (read: wake up call) from the Patient Financial Services department at Memorial Hospital. Remember, I wrote my appeal letter to TriWest on Monday. Well, my friends, PFS called to tell me that TriWest had reversed their decision and ALL CHARGES WERE BEING COVERED!!! Hallelujah! I cannot tell you the sense of relief. They only way you would understand would be if you had found yourself in my position. It is extreme relief my friends. Like to the point that I was yelling, "Yay!" and my cat was following me around and echoing me. And maybe I gave the cats extra treats this morning because of my own good fortune. :) Hey, they were here personally for the meltdown, I figured they deserved a little recompense.

Okay, the last thing I want to recap for you: the healthy moms and newborns class I took at Evans last night. Good information, both of initial newborn care, what to expect in the delivery and recovery rooms (in terms of what will happen with Munchkin), and then how to take care of myself and what to expect after birth in terms of what's happening to my body to get it back to pre-pregnancy. But, since we're having a boy (and so were several of the couples in attendance last night), we obviously had to talk about circumcision, since that will be happening, if we choose to have him circumcised (which we are) after he's born. Oh my goodness! Wow - the graphic pictures they showed. A few of the dads had to get up and leave the room! I'm not terribly squeamish, but I suddenly feel like an ogre for having decided we're going to have Munchkin circumcised. It was not pretty my friends - not pretty at all. But we stand by our decision. I just want to tell you, it was graphic.

Oh, P.S. For those of you who are waiting for me to slip and use the baby's name on here (instead of just "baby" or "Munchkin"), it's getting very hard! But I am sticking to my guns on this - you'll have to wait until after the birth!

Blog Grade: C-

So, in recent weeks, I've been reading more blogs, and I've decided that I'm decidedly below par on this particular skill set. I don't have any links to anything in any of my posts (not that I've really needed any to prove a point as of yet) nor do I have any photos. So, my fellow friends, I'm going to try to experiment with some of those today. Don't worry, I'm not just going to post about my blog, lol.

Firstly, I got my last haircut/color as not-yet-a-mom today. It's kind of bittersweet. The last time I can go take two or three hours and have someone else do my hair and wash it for me without having to have a babysitter. Keeping this in mind, I decided to do something that won't look terrible when it starts to grow out. I was a little disappointed because the girl who usually does my hair had recently gotten engaged and moved up to Denver. :( So today, I had to go to a new girl. I'm still deciding if I like my hair exactly - I don't hate it, but I don't know just how much I like it. I'm posting a picture, so let me know what you think. Granted, it looks VERY dark, but it was taken on a camera phone with only light from the window coming in, but it is still dark.

So, that picture didn't exactly wind up where I wanted it to. Still a work-in-progress. Learning curve and whatnot.

Anyway, Chad's been pretty lucky during this pregnancy. Our friend Kate was sending her husband out every night to buy her ice cream bars or chocolate, things like that. I had one or two nights like that at the beginning, usually for pizza, but the other night - oh man! It was bad. I'd just finished eating dinner and I don't know if I saw an ad on TV or if it just occurred to me - but I needed to have a hot fudge brownie sundae. I said as much to Chad. Not anything unusual there - I often say, "I could really go for X right now." But that's usually all it ever amounts to. But when I repeated myself a few minutes later, Chad put his fork down and looked at me. He asked if this was a serious pregnant-lady craving, I had to confirm it. It was terribly serious. Then Chad wanted to know where we would have to go to get one - there's an Old Chicago just down the road from our house, so I said we could go there. Dubiously, Chad asked me what he would do there. I told him to have a beer and watch the Rockies game. So we drive to Old Chicago at 8:45 pm and take a seat in the bar section (remember, it's all non-smoking out here). Checking out the menu, I realize, oops! Old Chicago doesn't have a hot fudge brownie sundae! Oh no. But they do have the little big cookie, which is a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie - I got mine a la mode. Definitely a good substitute for a hot fudge brownie sundae. :)

(On another note, I did solve my hot fudge brownie sundae dilemma for future cravings by buying these. :) )

Lastly, I'm really glad that Chad's on the new team (he changed teams in February and he's been much happier under this boss than the other one!). But on this new team, there are two other guys who have children under 5. This is SERIOUSLY helpful. Especially because they really love their kids and aren't ashamed of it; I think they've really been helping Chad adjust to thinking about life as a father. The one, bless his heart, told Chad explicitly that he has to get up for at-night feedings, even if he does nothing more than provide moral support by being awake at the same time. He just made his way to the front of my list of favorites of who Chad works with. :)

So, I think that's about it for now. Except I just realized that I never posted about my doctor's appointments yesterday! LOL I'll just get to that later. I've got a Healthy Moms and Newborns class tonight, so I'll just write about baby stuff tomorrow. :)